Classic Silverwood Condoms with my face (the best contraceptive) and a QR code to my Insta.

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  • Return Policy: Returns are only available on faulty items. There are no returns on changes of mind. Once a product has been returned we'll either ship a replacement or issue a refund. Send a copy of your tracked shipping receipt to for any refunds on returns.

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What started as a joke in a show in 2017 is now an actual thing.
These condoms have been over stickered with a picture of my face. There is no better contraceptive when you are trying to keep it up than me staring at you.

Every single condom comes with an STI written on it. Like Pokemon Go, check back periodically to "Catch them all."

This batch say "Chamydia," which, ironically, you can still catch even if you wear one. Now we're learning..

Best of all, these condoms come with a QR code which links directly to my Instagram page so you can slip into my DMs and show me how you've used the merch!

Priced individually.

* Please don't actually use these joke items.